Article Commenting on Toronto Judge Article on Non-Custodial Parental Alienation, Globe & Mail

Non Custodial Parenting Isssues http://modusmemoir.blogspot.com/2015/06/non-custodial-parenting-isssues.html

Parental Aliention? Great piece on PAS (Globe and Mail)

A family court judge in Toronto, Harvey Brownstone has written a very thoughtful piece for the Globe and Mail titled "That toxic tug-of-war." Brownstone takes on the contentious issue of "parental alienation" based on his 14 years of experience on the bench, offering a unique, rich, balanced perspective.

Throughout the piece, Brownstone injects reminders that childrenare the center of this issue, not the parents. "The law must be child-focused" and "In my view, the term 'parental alienation' incorrectly identifies the target parent as the victim" and "Parents can have new partners, but no child gets a second childhood."

Brownstone addresses the real problem of a parent alienating children from the other parent while noting that the definition of "parental alienation syndrome (PAS)" is still being debated: 

Mental-health professionals debate the definition of parental alienation, and whether it is a clinical "syndrome," but few would disagree that the problem exists. In simple terms, "parental alienation" refers to a parent's persistent campaign of denigrating the other parent to their child (sometimes called "brainwashing" or "poisoning" the child against the other parent), which causes the child to unjustifiably reject the other parent.

What I appreciate about this piece is that it does not attack or defend any particular party, and in fact offers an important note about the reaction many noncustodial parents have to conflict that they believe is toxic for their children:

Court proceedings are not conducive to peacemaking; they tend to increase acrimony between parents, which is bad for children. Many non-custodial parents simply walk away from an impossible situation, devastated to lose contact with their children, but consoled to know that their children's exposure to a toxic tug-of-war is over.

I highly recommend reading this piece in its entirety. Brownstone's piece concludes with the many questions of what should be done to handle these situations:

Could parental alienation be avoided by ordering joint custody with 50-50 shared parenting in every case? Should courts divide up the elements of custody to create parallel parenting regimes? Many say yes. Judges say it depends on the individual circumstances of each case. Experts tell us that many alienating parents are suffering from personality disorders, and would not be amenable to a co-parenting arrangement. After 14 years on the bench, I seriously doubt a court order can make immature non-communicative parents become child-focused and treat each other with mutual respect, for their child's sake. But I have seen it happen. Judges try their best to do what is right for children, given the often incomplete and conflicting evidence we get.

Read the article, and maybe check out Harvey Brownstone's book Tug of War: A Judge's Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court -- I know I'm going to!